Sometimes To Be Silent Is To Lie
by AJ Lindup
Summary: As punishment for his crimes, Loki is imprisoned in Asgard without his magic or his voice, where Odin sends in golden beasts with shimmering blue eyes to breed with him and create an army to defend himself during ragnarok. Loki is hanging on to his last dregs of sanity and Thor knows he has to get him out, and seeks the Avengers help. Warnings for Non-con, Gore & suicide.
1. Chapter 1

"As punishment for your crimes, Loki Laufeyson, I sentence you to imprisonment in the deepest pits of Asgard's dungeons." Odin's regal tone filled the hall, only to be met with silence. The citizens of Asgard stood in the golden room, looking expectantly at their king for the rest of the mischief maker's sentence. When it became clear that none other was coming, a shrill cry rang out, and then suddenly everyone was shouting.  
"The sentence is too soft! "cried out one voice  
"That Jotun scum deserves death!" bellowed another. But Thor's voice rang out the loudest, silencing the hall again as he screamed for order. He turned to the crowd, his anger causing his breath to come out harsh, and his words harsher still.  
"He is my brother!" he all but roared, grabbing onto Loki's shoulder who only rose his brows in defiance of the term but unable to make any sound under the metal gag silencing him.  
"You will keep your disgusting and un-noble thoughts to yourself, or suffer the wrath of Mjolnir thrust against your chest" he finished with a glare, before letting Loki go and turning to face Odin. But instead of the anger he expected to see, he only saw anger for him. But he had protected Loki!  
"He is of no use to us dead." Odin's voice cut off Thor's thoughts, and he searched the all Seeing Eye for any sign of forgiveness for Loki.  
"The threat of Ragnorak rings closer, and we are in need of an army strong enough to bring us victory. Loki's Jotun heritage means he is fertile, and having seen the monsters he has birthed before I declare that he will bear us this army from his very own womb!" he finished with a shout and the hall was filled again with shouts, only this time of joy. Thor could feel bile rise up in his throat and his head spin from the information. He looked to Loki, whose eyes were wide with shock and his mouth as slack as it could be under the metal gag. Only when the guards made to reach for the younger god did Thor break out of his stance and let out a bellowing shriek. This time the hall did not silence, too caught up in their celebrations were the peoples, and so Thor bounded up the stairs to his father's throne, his fury and confusion rolling off him in waves.  
"Father you cannot mean this" he cried. Moisture threatened to spill from his eyes as he saw Loki struggle weakly against the guards. But his father only looked down at him with contempt, and spoke quietly  
"He is getting what he deserves, the punishment he is due. I cannot have this monster living under my house"  
Thor spluttered, and looked over to Frigga in a desperate plea for support. He could feel his stomach churn as she regarded him coolly  
"Your father always knows best, Thor" and then she raised her hand, making gestures with her fingers until Thor could feel himself sink slowly to the ground, the words dying on his lips as he slipped into unconsciousness.

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Loki sat in the cell he had been thrown into, his naked legs crossed and his chained hands resting in his lap. He hadn't let a single tear fall yet, his arrogance keeping his eyes dry even as he replayed Odin's words in his head.  
He had been left to rot for what felt like months, and Loki was sure that he would go mad before Odin had the chance to set a monster in with him to breed. The gag still kept his voice silenced and his thoughts to himself, and the fear that had crawled its way into Loki's mind had him jumping at every small noise, so much so that now even a bug scuttling along the floor could wake him from his sleep.  
He thought not of what he had done on Earth, or to the Jotuns, but instead let his dreams be filled with revenge, watching as he commanded Fenrir to rip out Odin's throat, laughing with malice and glee as the life slowly drained from his body and destruction reigned all around them, burning his precious Asgard to the ground. It was only these thoughts that kept him breathing.

It was six months into his punishment when the first monster came. Loki watched with impossibly wide eyes as a dragon-type creature was thrown in with him.  
It's shining gold scales quickly covered with mud and dust as Loki scrambled into a corner, fearing the shining blue eyes that greedily sought him out. As the trickster dug himself into the wall he couldn't stop the laughter that was caught behind the gag. How fitting that Odin would send something so reminiscent of Thor to rape him. He climbed further into his hole, the laughter now shaking his small form as clawed feet grabbed on his skin, sometimes ripping chunks out.  
When the searching claws finally caught deep in his flesh Loki felt no pain, and still laughed as the dragon pulled him out and then entered him roughly, his face pushed down into the mud. The laughter increased with the searing pain as Loki realised that Odin had enchanted the creature to do no more than rape him. He did not want Loki dead just yet.  
Tears finally fell from the god's eyes as he felt fiery hot liquid pool deep within him, and he shoved the monster off, clutching at his belly and willing no child to be created.  
'Oh dear fate, you have been unkind to me before. Please give me what I want just this once. Just this once…' his thoughts trailed off as he slipped into sleep.

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Many more creatures had been thrown into Loki's cell, each one of them golden and strong. It was always blue eyes that glared at him, and Loki could feel himself slip into further insanity.  
As strong hands dragged him from the dark pit, Loki could only blink up at the bright lights, Asgard's shining sun now too much for him to bear.  
He was thrown again at Odin's feet and he smirked up at the grim expression on his face, and the sad one upon Frigga's. This should prove to be interesting.  
Odin stepped up and addressed the rest of the hall filled with Aesir's watching on with contempt. Loki searched quickly for Thor, but had to look away as pained blue orbs bore on him and brought back memories of terror.  
Loki let out a short bark of laughter, not hearing what it was that the All-Father spoke. Odin wanted Loki to be scared of Thor. And so, in an act of defiance he sought out his brother again, who looked to be held back by some magic, and pushed back any thoughts of fear. His brother had tears falling down his face and his body shook with rage. Loki was only mildly confused until he heard Odin call out his name.  
"Loki do you hear me? You have failed to bear us any children, and so it has been decided that you will be stripped of your Aesir disguise so that your Jotun womb may have more chance of conception."  
Loki felt his blood run cold and he had to hold back the mad laughter at the irony. He looked back to his once father and pleaded with his eyes. He let all of his emotion be shown; truths were sometimes more powerful than lies. But again he was only met with anger.  
He didn't need to look when Odin changed him back to the Jotun monster he really was; he could feel the ice along his skin, the room distort and go darker as his eyes changed red, and could hear the crowd behind him roar disgust at what he himself had been taught to hate.  
Loki would make sure their deaths were quick. They were but pawns in Odin's game of power.  
He was left to rise on his own, the guards now fearing his touch. He stood on shaking legs and walked with his head high, eyes unseeing so as to make sure he looked not at the blue skin covering him. He walked past Thor, who tried calling out to him with promises of escape that he would not be able to keep. Again, he shut off all emotion until he was walked back into his cell, and even then he only let one tear fall, snarling in disgust as it froze on his cheek.

When the creatures took him now it the pain was less, his touch freezing the claws and hands that grabbed him. He could be satisfied that both partied left injured, hoping that Odin would see just how easy it was for Loki to hurt the strong beasts he sent in for him.  
He had set up a little sort of ritual at the end of every coupling, where he would clutch at his stomach and pray to the Norns that no child would be conceived. He didn't want Odin to have anything that could help him stop Ragnorak, and he hardly wanted to have to fight his own children so that he could kill Asgards king, and his captor.

In the short gaps of time when no creatures were sent to rape him, Loki sat in the mud and excrete that had started building up, and looked to anywhere than his own body. He left wounds to fester and grow sceptic, rather than have to touch the cool skin to try to clean them. He let his joints grow weak as he refused to move them from tucked out of his sight.  
He tried to keep his thoughts only on one track, planning that many ways he could kill his used-to-be father. The longer the process, the happier Loki was, and sometimes he laughed with glee as glorious pictures of blood being replaced with poison, heads being sawn of slowly, and blood pooling around the lifeless form of Odin filled his mind. Sometimes he even imagined killing Thor, the blue eyes that haunted his dreams slowly fading until no life was held in them. Loki was sure he would kill Thor, maybe even before he killed Odin. Yes, let the All-Father see his golden son be turned into a bloody pulp by the hand of the son he had cast out and had raped as if he were _nithing_.  
But Loki always saw a flaw in his dreams, as the hand that he had wrapped around the Thunderer's throat was pink and soft, and no burn of ice spread across Thor's neck.  
Ignoring all warning bells in his head, he looked now at the hand curled up in his lap, and felt a rage so pure build up inside him. He glared at the blue skin, the thick blue nails and the darker blue lines that created patterns of his true heritage, the true reason why he has never been, nor never will be, accepted or good enough.  
Letting out a cry of frustration he reached out for a rock from the floor, brushing off the mud which smoothed its edges. Tears flooding his eyes and freezing down his face only spurred on his anger further, and he clutched the stone tightly, before raising it above his head and bringing it down to his stomach with the last reserves of his strength.  
He twisted and pushed until the sharp edges finally ripped through his skin and he laughed, pushing it deep. He angled for where he thought his womb to be and ripped with his nails, pushing the rock deep within his stomach. His muffled cries of pain alerted the guards outside his cell and as they came storming in Loki ripped harder at his womb, tears streaming down his face as he pulled it out of his body and threw it to the ground. The guards stilled his hands for going back for the stone, and looking at all of the blood, they called for a healer and dragged the limp body behind them from the magic-binding shackles it wore.

Thor looked down at his brothers body lain out on a healing bed, his blue skin somehow looking paler, his black hair greasy and sticking to his neck and forehead. He had a white bandage wrapped around his stomach, and the strongest healing stones that Thor himself had found, placed around the bed.  
He had yet to wake up, it had been days since it had happened and the healer that had reluctantly fixed him back up had already told Odin that he might never wake, and they should probably let go. Thor refused, he couldn't see a life without Loki, and Odin refused too. He still wanted his army and he was determined to get it. As Thor put on a glove and clasped his brothers cool hand in his, he wondered why he did so desperately want Loki to wake, apart from his own selfish needs.  
Loki would only be put back into the cell, and forced to breed with monsters, his womb replaced and enchanted with magic to make it more fertile. Unless Thor did something Loki was going to live the rest of his life locked up like some animal, not the darling brother he loved so much. He paused his thoughts and tried to figure out what he could really do. A spell had been placed upon Thor so that whenever Loki was out of his sights he forgot he existed, and all of his memories were changed to disclude Loki. Apart from the fact that this made him want to kill his own father every time he saw Loki and have everything come flooding back to him, it made for planning any escape difficult.

As the cogs finished turning in his brain he knew what he had to do to save Loki, but he had to do it now before he forgot his brother was ever there.

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He waited until the night, when the people of Asgard would be tucked up in bed, and the sky was lit only by stars, to carry out his plan. Admittedly, it wasn't a very good plan, certainly not one Loki would approve of. As he wrapped his brother in thick furs to protect himself from the cold skin and scooped him up into his arms, he hoped with all of his might that his plan involving only brawn might work, at least just this once.  
He shifted Loki so that he was nestled into the crook of his left arm, and grabbed Mjolnir from his belt with his right, brandishing it high to the sky before soaring up, out of the healing room and over the tips of the palace. He flew quickly, and in the shades so that no one might see him.  
As he flew over the rainbow bridge he could feel worry and apprehension coil in his belly. He slowed to a stop and walked slowly up to where Heimdall stood watching, his fiery eyes showing no clue as to how he might react.  
"Good Heimdall I beseech you, let Loki and I pass through to Midgard. I cannot let my brother be taken back to his torture, no matter how bad his sins beforehand, I pray to you, I cannot forget my brother once more, I .." he was cut off by Heimdall rising a single hand.  
"You will be disobeying the command of your king. I am honour-bound and so I cannot help you." he finished, giving Thor another blank look before walking away.  
Thor's mind raced. Heimdall had not disagreed with him, and he was yet to raise an alarm of escape. Just as Thor turned to beg for help, the Bifrost sent out sparks of light and was suddenly spinning as it located Midgard. Thor was speechless; he hadn't expected his plan to come together so easily.

He didn't spare a glance for his home before stepping into the portal of light - he would always have his memories when he was with Loki, and Asgard had become a place he no longer wanted to belong to.

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	2. Chapter 2

Loki opened his eyes slowly, blinking at the bright light that shone down at him. Could he possibly be outside again? He drew up quickly, crying out in pain as his movement made everything hurt. He struggled against the hands that held him down, snarling as a soft voice told him to calm down, that he was safe now.  
Safe! He couldn't hold back the laughter and it bubbled through his chest. Loki didn't even know the meaning of safe anymore, and this jest on his behalf was a cruel one. He growled and struggled until he felt a sharp pain in his neck and everything suddenly went black.

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Loki awoke again, his eyes quickly searching as he saw the bright light once more. He made no move so as to not alert his captors and searched only with his eyes.  
The room he was in was light and spacious, nothing like the cell he had been kept in for the past years. There was strange contraptions that Loki had never seen before, so mechanical and plain were their appearance. Suddenly Loki doubted that he was in Asgard anymore, and he could feel his heart leap.

In the far corner of the room Loki could see someone – they appeared to be working on something, their hands moving delicately. He stared at the back of the head, trying to figure out who it could be, when they finally turned around. Loki could feel all of his muscles tense as Banner caught contact with his eyes and a smile lit his face. What was this mortal going to do with him?  
He started struggling to get off the bed he was lain on, ignoring the amount of pain it caused him.  
He could feel the mortal's hands on him and he stopped struggling as much in confusion. Wasn't he still Jotun?  
He looked down at his body and confirmed this, seeing the gloves that Banner wore. But then he also saw the bandage wrapped around his middle and it all came rushing back to him.  
He should be dead! He had prayed so hard for death he thought that the Norns might have listened to him.  
But he wasn't, and somehow the mortals had found him, probably thirsting for his blood. Fine. Loki stopped moving and heard a small sigh of relief from the mortal.  
He looked up into the large brown eyes and shown and shown them what he couldn't say. 'Kill me'

As Bruce stared into the impossibly red eyes screaming for death he could feel his heart drop to his stomach. He hated the sympathy he felt for the god; this man lain out before him had tried to take over the world after all.  
But so clear was the plea, and Bruce could almost forgive everything Loki had done. Almost. No one deserved a punishment such as this.  
"I'm glad you're awake now" he spoke softly, so as to not scare the on-edge jotun. "Tony and I have been working on removing your gag, and I think we could take it off now."  
The red eyes grew wider, confusion flashing in them, before his whole face seemed to light up in a smile.  
It didn't look like the same 'I'm going to destroy you' smile he only knew of Loki, but it still put him on edge, and he quickly called for Tony, Thor and Clint to come down.  
As he waited for them he rocked back on his heels, at loss for what to say. His awkwardness only seemed to please Loki further, and suddenly doubt flew into his mind. It was easy to feel sympathy for someone when they were hurt and asleep, but now he was being reminded of Loki's personality.  
Bruce turned quickly to see Clint crouching behind him, an arrow taught in his bow.  
"Why the fuck is he blue?" his voice came out low and scared.  
Loki looked up at the arrow aiming at him and smirked with his eyes, sitting up tenderly.  
"Uh, he's not like Thor, remember? Jotun or something like that." He spoke calmly, noting that Loki's heart rate had gone up.  
"Fucking blue. Creepy red eyes like some kinda monster." He pulled his bow tighter. Loki's body seemed to crumple then, his body going limp in the bed, his eyes gleaming with moisture.  
Bruce could feel himself feel sympathy for him again. He knew what it was like to be called a monster for something you can't control. He told Clint to go stand behind the partition, anger clear in his voice, and he watched as he scuttled off, joining Thor and Tony who had just arrived.  
The thunder god looked confused, walking reluctantly against the hand that Tony had at his back. When his eyes settled on Loki who had relaxed back into the bed, staring at a point on the wall, his face lit up into a smile bright enough it could compete with the sun.  
"I understand now Starksson! You are taking the gag off, how could I have forgotten?" his smile shrunk as he apparently remembered the spell on him. He clutched at his head. "This spell is doing things to me. My whole head aches."  
Bruce turned back away and walked over to Loki. As Tony joined him he picked up the key they had created and started the complicated act of prying the metal off.

He couldn't believe it had been kept on this whole time. But then he couldn't believe that Loki was here again. Nor did the rest of the Avengers, or Fury who had looked ready to kill Thor for bringing back a war criminal.  
Thor had arrived in the middle of the night, crashing down onto the top of the tower with a burst of lightning. They had all rushed, alarm bells ringing, only to see Thor clutching onto a bundle of fur, a slim blue arm hanging out of it.  
The grim expression on his face had cut off any arguments from the team, and Bruce and Tony had agreed to help.

The gag's clasp was tricky and intricate, and possibly enchanted with some kind of magic, but Bruce was determined to get it off. Loki badly needed solid food.  
With a final twist of the key, the gag creaked and fell forward. Loki cried out and pulled back at the gag, pushing it closer to his face, almost as if he wanted to put it back on.  
Bruce frowned and pushed away Loki's trembling hands, looking closely at where the gag sat.  
The sight of ten steel rods pierced through Loki's lips had him close to gagging. The skin had grown over each of them. He must have been in pain constantly.  
Bruce looked to Thor who was watching sadly through the window.  
"Thor, did you know about this?" he spoke quietly, placing the anger building up right back down. The other guy would not help right now.  
"Yes" Thor's voice broke, "I did it before I took him back to Asgard. It was expected of me, I assure you I took no pleasure in doing so."  
Bruce sighed and turned back to Tony to stop himself from voicing his disgust.  
"Tony, we're going to need to cut it off."

Loki had sat twitching in pain for hours now as the two mortals cut the metal from his mouth. Each slice of the electric saw was both painful and satisfying at the same time, as he felt more ability to move his jaw.  
When they had moved on to slicing the skin off the metal rods he had writhed in pain, refusing any attempts the mortals made to inject him with drugs they said would help. He wanted to feel this, the pain filling him with hope. With his voice back he could become Loki: God of Lies again. No longer would he be an empty shell no good for anything other than monsters.  
And when the two mortals stepped back to admire their handiwork, Loki had to stop a huge smile lighting his face, aware of the bittersweet pain it would cause.

Thor sat in the elegant chambers the man of Iron had set up for him many years ago. He felt at home here, even though he had not returned to it for surely two years.  
He was confused at the emotions he had building up inside him. Happy. Thor was happy. No, more than happy, he felt ecstatic, delighted, elated. Thor stopped as many more adjectives ran through his mind.  
But he didn't know why. He couldn't even be sure why he had returned to the Avengers tower; Midgard was at present at peace from any outside threat.  
And sure enough, deep in the back of his mind he felt a sorrow so strong he shied away from it in fear that it would engulf him completely.  
Clutching at the red silken sheets that covered his bed, Thor felt a single tear escapes from his eyes.  
A knock on the door had him wiping his face, ashamed that he had cried for apparently no reason. He beckoned they come enter as he stood up and regained his warriors composure.  
"He big guy, Loki's started trying to speak and Bruce said you might want to come hear." Tony's voice rang out soft and smooth. Thor raised his brows, what was he talking about?  
"Son of Stark, who is this Loki you speak of?" the name felt strange on his tongue.  
The shorter man's face fell, confusion and anguish fitting in his features, but they were quickly replaced with a smile as he grabbed Thor by the arm and pulled for as much good it would do against his mass.  
"Just come with me, yeah?"

Thor had let himself be led down to the rooms he knew to belong to Banner. His head was pounding; flashing images of bright greens eyes mocking him and caring for him, nimble hands twirling gracefully as they summoned a spell, rushing in front of his eyes. His steps grew shaky and he clutched on to Stark's arm, hard enough to bruise.  
As they waited for JARVIS to open the glass door into the healing rooms Thor's eyes latched onto a bright red pair that were widened in fear.  
His head grew far too heavy for his neck as images slashed into his mind, memories of laughter and worry, of betrayal and forgiveness, of hurts old and new, of looking after his brother, his baby brother, how could he have forgotten his beloved brother!  
And with the final image of Loki being dragged past him, blood spilling out of a wide gash, his insides trailing behind his still form, Thor collapsed.

Loki was panting; his eyes wide and a small keening noise broke from his disused throat. He tried to speak, to tell the mortal's to help him, but he hadn't spoken properly in years and in his panic he caused himself to cough heavily, and he keeled over.  
"What the fuck is wrong with these two?" Stark had cried out as he tried pulling Th… The monster into a better position.  
Loki struggled against gloved hands in an attempt to escape. Banner had told him he would be safe! He lied, how Loki could not have picked up on such an obvious lie! He was still only good enough for golden monsters fucking him into the ground. They probably only took the cursed gag off so they could hear his cries of terror and pain.  
Tears were freezing on his cheeks again and he whispered through a dry throat  
"Please no, you lied to me; you said I would be safe, please I'll do anything but not this, please!"  
He felt another sharp pain in his neck as he was stabbed with a needle and as his mind drifted into sleep he stopped crying suddenly as he realised what had happened.  
That golden monster was only Thor. Odin had won.


	3. Chapter 3

When Thor had finally regained consciousness, he had stumbled over to his brother's bed and looked down at him with tears in his eyes.  
Tony was never short of anything to say, but as he watched over a scene so tender and sad he couldn't even remember how to say his name if you asked him to.  
So instead, he had busied himself with tidying the mess Loki had created, pulling up bits of smashed machinery with a sigh.  
But quickly the silence became too much for him as it dragged on, and he could feel his need to fill it with any kind of speech.  
So he walked over to Thor and placed a gentle hand on his back.  
"It'll be okay. We'll sort this out, yeah?" he spoke softly, aware of how on-edge the god was.  
Suddenly he could hear thunder crash outside, and the once sunny sky filled with rain that pounded at the glass of the windows.  
Tony stepped back from Thor slightly.  
"Nay, Man of Iron, I fear that this spell my mother placed upon me had caused my untimely collapse and that if I should ever leave my brother's side it should happen again." He stopped, turning around to face Tony slightly as he still clasped onto a blue hand.  
"He looked… afraid. Before I fell. He looked scared of me."  
Tony swallowed; he knew there was point in lying to Thor, as he would soon see how Loki was when he woke again, but he hated to hurt him with the truth.  
"Well, um Bruce thinks that you trigger some kinda memory of what happened to Loki before."  
Thor had only nodded, apparently expecting the answer Tony had given.

Tony had left the two gods' in the healing room and was sitting back with Steve and Bruce. None of them had spoken too, and Tony was tired of silence already.  
Before he could protest, however, JARVIS's British accent filled it  
"Sir, I'm afraid Thor and Loki seem to be fighting in the healing rooms."  
All three looked at each other for a split second, before jumping up from where they sat and running as fast as they could.  
They could hear loud crashes and shouts coming from the rooms and so they picked up the pace.  
Tony ran into Steve's back as he stumbled through the door. Muttering quick apologies he looked to the fight in front of them.  
Loki was running from Thor who was stumbling after him.  
His frail blue arms held strength that Clint would've been envious off, as he picked up more machinery and threw it in Thor's path. Only when he was stuck in a corner behind Thor's form closing in with his hands raised to show he was of no threat, did Tony finally speak, breaking them all out of a trance  
"Thor, step back." His voice was calm; despite the worry he had coursing throughout him. Loki's eyes were wide with panic and as Thor stepped forward in confusion and want for his brother, he raised his arms to defend himself from a blow he obviously thought was coming. Ice started encasing his hand, elongating until it created a perfect point, and it sliced easily into Thor's flesh.

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Loki stared, eyes impossibly wide at the sight before him.  
His brother was keening, small choking noises coming out his throat as his hands clawed at the ice protruding from his stomach.  
Crimson blood was pouring out around the cold weapon, trickling down it until it fell upon Loki's arm.  
As he felt the warm blood burn against his skin he jumped back in shock, pulling the ice out with him. That was his brother! Not some savage beast come to rape him. Thor would never hurt him, never.  
Two gloved hands grabbed onto him then, pulling him away from his brother struggling for breath. He let himself be thrown back onto his bed, too stunned to put up any fight. How could he have let Odin win this again?  
He looked back over to where his brother lay in a pool of blood, the three Mortal's pressing valiantly at the wound.  
As blue eyes latched onto his he again felt panic build in him. He pushed away any thoughts of being mercilessly attacked and focused on his brother's face.  
A small choked apology rasped from his mouth and he quickly picked it up into a chant, getting louder with each word.  
"Thor! I'm sorry Thor, please, I'm so sorry!"  
He was screaming now, as his moaning brother was being taken away from him, hidden by a solid wall as the mortal's tried to fix him.

Loki looked down at his hands. One was still encased in ice, blood dripping off it slowly. He felt hatred so pure build up inside himself then.  
Jotun monster. That's what he truly was. All of those times he tried to get away from the searching claws, not once did he think to stab them with the ice he could call to him, even without his magic.  
But his brother, the one he had grew up with and truly loved - him he had stabbed.  
Odin wanted him scared of Thor and he had really won. But, as always, he underestimated the strength that Loki has.  
If he were to put all of his might into getting revenge, then revenge would come swiftly.

Amora had been working on mastering a spell that she had found written in an old tomb. The Midgardian magiks were far behind anything she had been practising in Asgard, but she was still struggling slightly.  
As she lit up another green fire ball between her fingers, she distantly heard a familiar voice calling out for her.  
No one had spoken to her since her banishment to Earth, and so curiously, she put away her equipment and listened again for the voice.  
Sure enough she soon heard it, as weak and broken as it was. She closed her eyes and let her magic create a link to it, and gasped as her body was pulled along. She had used transportation magic many times, but it never failed to take her breath away.

She stumbled a bit as she landed, and looked around to where the voice had taken her.  
She was up high, looming over the other skyscrapers that filled the sky. The stars were hidden under a fog of lights, their beauty wasted and left for none other to see. Rather like herself, she supposed.  
The place where she stood was ugly, stone and concrete instead of the golden paving she dreamt of.  
"Hello?" she called out, impatient and now also wary that she had been led into a trap.  
She saw a flutter of movement from the corner of her eye and she spun around, her heart beating wildly in her chest.  
"Amora" the same voice rang out into the night. It was croaky and unused, but she would recognise the deep tones anywhere.  
"Don't fret Enchantress. It is simply Loki, and I wish to make a deal with you."  
She knew not why Loki was here on Midgard, much less this ugly tower where she would've expected him to be surrounded by beauty, or why he had called for her rather than just appear in her home.  
When he made no further move to unveil himself from wherever he hid, the enchantress huffed.  
"Well come and we will see if we can sort something out."  
She heard a small sigh and she smiled. She had missed Loki.  
"I'm in the shadows behind the metal sticking up from the ground; I know not what the Migardians would call it. Don't say anything when you see me, okay?" A pause. "You'll know what I mean."  
She nodded to herself, looking over to which she knew to be called an air vent, her years on Earth taking its toll on her. When Loki finally stepped out into view she could feel a small panic burst inside her, but she held it back and showed nothing on her face.  
"My, my" she whispered "You never did let me see this side of you." She winked, hiding the disgust she truly felt for such ugly blue skin.  
"I'll cut to the point." Loki's croaky voice came out again, no hint of humour in it as she used to like to hear. "I need you to cut off these" he raised his hands and Amora smiled sadly at the magic-binding shackles attached to the skinny wrists.  
She reached out and touched them gently, wrapping her hands around the cool metal.  
"And in return?" she spoke deeply, looking up at Loki from underneath her lashes suggestively. She watched in glee as he swallowed tightly.  
"And in return I will give you the power that lets me do this" there was no reciprocation of the flirt back. He stepped back from her, and she watched as ice grew from his hand, shifting into a point.  
Her breath came in quick. Such a power could be useful to her; to possess Jotun powers without actually having to be Jotun could make her very dangerous indeed.  
But she let nothing show on her face as she regarded Loki. He looked desperate, angry and ready to kill. She would surely be able to get more out of him.  
"Tempting indeed, but those shackles look to be of Odin's magic. It should drain my own source considerably. I'll barely have enough to get home." She smiled softly, watching as Loki's red eyes twitched. Oh yes, she could get much more out of him.  
She looked over the small body. He had lost much weight and was wearing an awful robe that held nothing of his past regency. She had of course heard of his attempt on earth, and she guessed that this must have been the aftermath of his punishment.  
As she looked upon the small scars along his lips were they looked to have been sewn shut, again, a brilliant payment popped into her head.  
She would take that brilliant, infuriating voice for her own. She could keep it with her at all times, ready to use its lies whenever she needed it.  
"I should like your voice, _and_ the Jotun skills."  
The words lingered in the thick air and she saw Loki's brows rise in shock.  
When, after minutes of heavy suspense,Loki looked back to her and gave her one short nod she squealed with delight.  
"You must be very desperate, Laufeyson, to agree to losing your powers to lie. I accept."

She reached out her hands and grabbed onto Loki's, ignoring the burn that spread up her arms. Soon she should be able to burn any that tried to touch her.  
She took the shackles off first, words spilling quickly from her mouth as she battled the tight seal that Odin had created.  
When they finally cracked open she could feel Loki gasp, and his whole body sway; she held onto him tighter, ready for her pay.  
She took the Jotun powers next. The blue drained away from Loki's body and milky white skin covered it. His eyes changed back to the vibrant green she once knew.  
When the powers were hers she locked them up in a tight pocket of her magic, ready to be called upon when she should need them.  
Then she finally started upon taking the rich voice she had used to love.  
Power coursed through her veins as she stored it in another pocket, close to her so she could feel it always.

And then it was done. Her head spun slightly from the overuse of magic, but she smiled nonetheless.  
The green orbs she looked into, however, did not light up with malice as she knew they once did. She leaned in close and whispered gently into Loki's waiting ear.  
"Make his death slow, Loki. Make him hurt for everything he had ever done to you."  
And then with a quick peck on a smooth cheek, she disappeared through her magic.

When his magic had returned to him Loki had had to stumble in fear of collapsing. The surge of power he felt as it rushed back to him had left him breathless. Suddenly everything had become brighter, the sounds of the cars below louder. If he listened closer then he could hear the sounds of the Avenger team working to save his brother in the tower below his feet.  
The brother he had stabbed.  
And when Amora had taken his voice - his precious weapon that he had only just gotten back, he could only feel rage build up inside him.  
Spurred on further by the words whispered to him, Loki clenched his milky white hands tightly and reached out for the magic he had missed for far too long.  
It pulsed in his veins, and he felt strong, no longer the weak Jotun runt, but a powerful sorcerer ready to kill.

He only had to close his eyes and think of the golden halls of Asgard to make his magic obey him. It spread like a cloak over him and a portal opened through which he could travel to his past home, and present prison.

The portal was brutal, hitting him with pure power until he was sure he heard something crack.  
Colours, bright and beautiful swirled in front, the dull grey of the Midgardian city blurring behind him.  
He paid no attention to the power cutting at his flesh, or the roaring sounds that deafened his ears and he travelled through the realms.  
His mind was set on only one goal; finding Odin.

With a final crack of what felt to be a rib breaking, the portal flashed around him and then disappeared, and Loki looked upon the chambers that his once father dwelled in.

Odin had jumped up at his arrival, and Loki had silenced any cry for help with a quick flick of his fingers. Oh how good it felt to be able to do that again.  
He walked over to the frail old man and flashed words written in an elegant scroll across his open palms. The All-father's face twisted with fear as he read:  
'Hello father. I have returned. And I have brought Ragnorak with me.'

_  
AN ~  
Thank you guys so much for the reviews and follows! There should be either one or two more chapters to come, depending on how I let the story pan out. I hope you all like a lot of angst!


	4. Chapter 4

Loki didn't have a plan that was the truth of it. He burned with anger and knew he wanted his not-father to die, but he knew not how he wanted to carry it out. He wanted it to be as slow and painful as possible; a wound for every wrong the All-Father had done upon him.  
But as he raised his hand to strike the quivering man before him, he found he could not do it. He could feel an old part of him rebelling against the idea, forcing his hand to stay by his side and simply clench into a fist with which he could not move.  
He tried to push the thoughts away with the memories of the torture that Odin had condemned him to, but still they continued to plague his mind.

Odin obviously picked up on the mental struggle Loki was having, and quickly righted himself and regained his kingly posture. He did not try to speak as Loki would've enjoyed seeing him struggle, and so instead raised his hands and let blocky text appear between them.  
'Loki, how grand it is to see you again. And not in the blue skin you wear so well.'  
Loki snarled and waved the words away with an elaborate puff of green smoke, stepping closer to the king. He let his own reply appear in between his hands as he breathed heavily.  
'You are a fool, All-Father, to stand there so unafraid before me. I will burn Asgard to the ground; I would have you screaming for mercy until you are _nithing_, until you are nothing more than dead flesh on the ground.'  
He let Odin read the words as he panted through his anger. He could only wish that he had his voice so that he could say the satisfying words himself, let Odin know just how much he has wronged him and how he was going to pay. He didn't ponder on this too long; no point in feeling sorrow for what he cannot change, when he had his captor so vulnerable before him. He let the words fade and ignored the challenging look upon Odin's face, flicking more words into the air.  
'In fact, I have a little farewell gift for you now.'  
The words faded again and he clasped his hands together. A dangerous smile played at his lips, widening as he saw Odin's face fall slightly, barely noticeable but still enough to let excitement rush through him.

He called his magic back to him, feeling it coil around him and build with strength. With a quick wave of his hands and a few words muttered in his head, a large sphere grew between his waiting palms. It glistened, its mirror surface reflecting all off it majestically. It was truly beautiful, catching slithers of the gold from Odin's chambers and shining it in patterns that twisted and shimmered.  
Loki admired his own creation before looking back down to Odin, whose brows were furrowed in slight confusion, even as he too admired the stunning sight of what Loki could make.  
Throwing his head back, Loki pushed more magic into it until it spun around, the colours and patterns merging into one. With a quick flick of his fingers Loki made more words appear in the air as he continued to stare at his creation with delight.  
'What should the God of Chaos destroy first?'  
His mouth now pulled into a feral grin, teeth flashing dangerously in the reflective light. He would've laughed if he could, at the sight of the All-Knowing king gulping, his Adam's apple bobbing under the pressure.  
He let the words fade and again turned his attention to the swirling sphere he had created.  
It stopped suddenly, and a view of Idunn's orchard covered the surface, the trees with the golden apples that the Asgardians depended on slightly distorted as it curved around the sphere.

He wrote nothing further in the air, his actions to come needing no explanation.  
He pressed at the sphere, forcing his magic into it. His brow grew slick with sweat as he used the magic he had lost for two years before. But soon enough, a spark appeared on the image, at the roots of one of the trees, before suddenly the whole orchard was glowing, and a green fire spread quickly.  
Loki watched with glee as Odin tried to cry out, his mouth moving uselessly and his arms flailing. Even after years of no use Loki's magic had grown stronger than Odin's could ever be. His fall into that dark chasm so long ago had widened his mind to the strength of magic, and how great he could be. And he was.  
As the fire spread and flickered until it turned into the natural orange, bold words appeared in Odin's hands.  
'Do not make me kill you Loki'  
Loki threw back his head and let laughter rip through him. It was disconcerting that he made no noise, but Odin seemed to pick up on his reaction nonetheless.  
Odin's dull magic glowed between his hands, replacing the words, and he threw it at Loki with the last reserves of his waning strength. Loki blocked the blow easily with a spark of his own magic, and the laughter built stronger in his chest.  
The sphere, still glowing with the image of the burning orchard drifted over to the side of the two gods, where Odin stood staring at it as he panted through his weariness. It enlarged, spreading the picture over the growing surface and letting more of the orchard be shown. Workers were fleeing the fire, even as some stayed behind to try and save the apples they held so dear. Loki paid them no attention though; it was time for Odin's death.

He used a strong surge of his magic to finally bind the king, wrapping his hands and feet to one of the large poles of the bed that stood proudly in the middle of the room, with invisible bindings.  
Loki still didn't really have a plan. He knew not how to let Odin feel any pain on the same level of which he had created for his wayward-son.  
And then a brilliant idea popped into his mind. It both thrilled him, whilst setting shivers of terror down his spine at the same time. It was perfect.

He smiled at the bound man, raising his hands again, and let magic build within him. He needed far much more magic this time, and with the binding spells needing on-going magic, he could feel himself weaken slightly.  
But he had survived a pain far worse than this before, and nothing was going to stop him now. His mouth opened in a mock scream as he completed the spell. It bubbled under his skin fighting to gain its release into the world.

'Time to die, All-Father. I hope you appreciate the effort into creating something so reminiscent of your beloved golden son, and the beasts that you set upon me in an act of betrayal. Farewell.'

The words lingered in the air, taking up much more concentration than Loki would've liked, but the look upon Odin's face as he struggled against the bindings more than made up for it.  
Then he shut his eyes, and let the magic burst from his body, gasping soundlessly as it ripped from his skin, and he slumped slightly as his muscles gave into the weariness they suddenly felt.  
His eyes flew open and stared into the deep blue eyes that had haunted his nights, the golden scales that caused panic to swell within him and bile to rise up his throat.  
Loki couldn't believe he had created this monster before him. He was frozen with terror, every night of his miserable existence in the dungeons flashing through his head.  
His breath quickened even as the creature just continued to stare at him, waiting for some kind of magical command to bring its limbs to life.  
It was Odin's smile that finally broke Loki out of his fixed state. It curled the king's lips with such malice, such glee that he had managed to break Loki this way.  
With a silent roar, Loki let magic flash in his green eyes, an unspoken command flashing into those of the beast.  
It spun around and faced Odin, who only slightly recoiled. Loki wasted no time, and sent the best forward before the terror could creep back into his mind.  
He watched, wide-eyed, as it bound towards the shackled man and reared up, slicing his claws into the flesh of his once-father. Blood poured from deep gashes as the beast mauled the king, his guards shouting through the magically sealed doors.  
As a last second thought, Loki waved his fingers and returned the king's voice to him. But he was met only by silence, and not the screams of agony he so desired.  
Loki snarled, anger exploding within him. This was supposed to be his revenge! Odin should be begging for mercy, screaming for death. But he had just lain back and let the beast maul him, his eyes locked onto Loki's.  
With another wave of his magic Loki made the beast disappear, the feeling of the loss of connection ignored under his rage.  
He stood over the dying man, who only looked back at him coolly.  
''You didn't bring Rangnarok with you, only your own death.'' Odin's cracked voice broke the silence, his voice hoarse from imagined screaming.  
Loki growled, the rage taking over control of his body. Even with his voice he would have nothing to say to that. He reached out and dug his hand into the gaping chest wound his beast had inflicted, ripping through layers of flesh as Odin writhed beneath him. He snapped through ribs and smiled up at the face of his tormentor, before finally curling his fingers around the weakly pulsating heart and pulling.  
Odin's eyes faded as his heart was twisted from his chest, clutched in Loki's pale fingers which squeezed the dead muscle in triumph. His body slumped to the ground as best as it could in the chains it was still held in, it's single eye no longer all-seeing.  
And then it was done.

Loki waited, still gripping onto the dripping heart, for a sense of joy or relief, of success, of _anything_ to over wash him.  
But nothing did. Loki still felt empty.

-  
AN: eek, I know this is a really small chapter but I wanted to get something up because it's been like two weeks since I posted last. Sorry for the wait and the really small chapter now. Also, thank you very much for the follows and reviews.  
I should have the final chapter up soon, and just be warned that it should be very angsty!


	5. Chapter 5

A.N I am reallly reeeeeeaaallllly sorry about the massive gap. My laptop broke and i haven't had the money to fix it. But here we are, the next bit. It hasn't been checked over so im sorry for mistakes. I'd check them but its midnight and i have college tomorrow. I will also be revising the whole of this story at some point. I only have wordpad and ff seems to change the layout of my stories :/ I might add another chapter to this (sorry!) as a kinda epilogue, and if i do it will certainly be much quicker in updating!  
Thank you so much for reviews and for reading; i hope this ending is okay!

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Loki had ripped Asgard apart, using fire to burn the towns into rubble, people running and screaming. He used his magic to bring the huge columns he had grown up with to the ground, watching as they smashed impossibly and showered the worriors' training area with golden daggers, cutting into flesh as they ran for cover. One man fell dramatically as a spear of the shining rock pierced through his armor. His mighty strength was not enough to save him now. He was better than him. He was better than all of them, finally above them and their useless, moronic strength.  
But he still felt empty.  
Even as the palace walls crumbled around him he felt no joy. Odin had still won; even dead he was able to stop Loki from wanting to live.  
Odin had been right. This was a mokery of the Ragnarok that had been prophasized. This was a pathetic Jotun's attempt of feeling strong, of rising above the life that had been set out for him.

Loki snarled in disgust, using his magic to turn his skin back to the blue it should be. The colour of monsters. He deserved to live in no other form; let everybody see him for what he truely is.  
Without a final glance at his childhood home and previous place of torture, Loki dissapeared, pulling himslef through another portal, leaving Asgard to build its self together again.

He landed in Thor's chambers. He was sure that he wouldn't freak out and kill his brother after having faced another beast and surving. He could do this.  
Thor was lain in his luxurious bed, the stomach wound that Loki had inflicted still rendering him unable to move much. That wouldn't do at all. Loki needed all of Thor's strength.

He creeped over to the sleeping form silently so as not to wake him yet. Magic coursed through him again, making his legs shake as he reached the ends of his reserves. Placing his hand above the bandage that had been wrapped around the wound, Loki pushed at it with his magic, forcing it to seep beneath and knit the smooth edges of the wound together.  
When it was done Thor awoke with a gasp.  
His blue eyes latched onto Loki's, filling with confusion as the spell set on him worked its power. Then he slumped forward onto the sheets with a groan. Loki sighed and quickly pushed again with his magic to wake the thunder god up.  
This time when the hauntingly blue eyes caught onto Loki's they lit up with a smile.  
"Brother! You have returned." he patted his stomach and removed the bandage, his smile increasing impossibly.  
"Thank you for healing me. You must not blame yourself for what happened. I was to blame."

He stopped and looked deeper into Loki's eyes.  
"What has happened Brother? You look sad."  
When Loki made no move to reply, only continuing to stare into Thor's eyes as he shifted on his feet, Thor's features lit back into the confusion.  
It was, Loki though bitterly, an expression that Thor wore well.

He could see the exact moment realisation hit Thor, his eyes widening impossibly.  
"You have your magic back. What did you do, Loki? How did you get it back?"  
Thor's voice was low and dangerous, and Loki let a small smile cover his face. Again he used his magic to flicker words into the air.  
'I made a deal. My voice for my magic.'

Thor gasped as he read it.  
"But the man of Iron, he was working on getting your magic back! You should've waited brother! You could have had both!" his voice trembled " I have only just heard noises of fear from your mouth and I need them to be replaced from my memory with those of laughter."  
Loki could feel hope with those words. Sick misguided hope that would never mean anything.  
'It is of no matter now. I have no need of my voice.'  
The words floated in the air and Thor's mouth pukered in confusion.

It was time now. The emptiness had still not been filled in Loki's chest and he could only see one way to make the ache stop. He braced himself, setting his shoulders rigid before letting more words appear.  
'You claim to love me. But look what I have done...'  
And then he called the mirrored sphere back to him, feeling more of his magic supplies depleat.  
It twirled magestically in the air and Thor was instantly enthralled with its beauty.  
Loki shut his eyes as he made it switch back to the picture of what he had done.

There was a long silence as Thor took in the ruins of his home, tears filling the precious blue orbs and threatening to fall. As a piercing scream filled the silence through the sphere Loki cringed and waved it away again.  
When Thor spoke again his voice was dangerous still. Loki let another small smile curl his lips.  
"Brother, this is a cruel jest."  
Another silence as Loki made no move to correct Thor. He would realise soon enough. He relied on that happening. He needed it to happen, he needed Thor to lose control and let his infamous strength come rearing up and end this.  
But when Thor finally clicked Loki's meaning into place his face fell into a look of sorrow.  
No, this was wrong!  
"I understand your anger for Asgard brother, but dont let innocent civilians get caught up in your wrath."  
Loki snorted and that; maybe he could still yet bring around the anger he needed. He made more words appear.  
'They sat and idilly watched as I rotted in my prison cell. They cheered as their king sentanced me to be used as nothing more than a whore. They will get no respite. I would watch their eyeballs melt down their face at the creation of my fire, their children screaming as it licks its way up their body turning innocent flesh to ash.'

Thor cringed back from the words, settiling further back into his covers. He seemed to be lost, unsure of what to do as he tried to think a way to talk Loki out of it.  
He really had changed, trying to sort something out instead of instantly resorting to violence. Why must he learn this now, when Loki had need of him to fight?

Fine. Loki still had Odin's demise to show to Thor. If this failed then nothing would surely succeed.  
As Thor continued to watch on with wary eyes Loki called the sphere to him again. Wasting no time for theatrics, he simply let the image of Odin's abused body cover the reflective surface and waited.

Nothing happened.

Thor simply sat on, tears falling as he stared into the eye of his beloved father.

'You see, I'm a monster, Thor! I made sure his death was painful. He begged me for mercy but yet he had shown me none. Now, let's finish this!'  
Loki let the lie hang heavy in the air, the words blocky and bolder as he panted and writhed.

But still Thor made no move.

"I will not fight you brother. With father dead I will become king of Asgard and relieve you of your punishment. This means we can both go home brother. We can be together, as we are meant to be."

Loki sneered, his lips pulling down into a frown before his legs finally gave out beneath him and he sat down on the floor.  
The emptiness engulfed him now.  
He couldn't see Thor rushing to his side, couldn't feel his strong hands bushing his oily hair from his face, couldn't hear the Thunderer's voice shaking as he called out his name.  
He felt nothing.

His whole life, all of it had been a struggle, always the unwanted son; always the second best. Nothing more than a disgusting Frost Giant. A runt.  
And now it appears that even death would be a struggle. He had not asked to be brought into this world of lies and so now he was tired of trying to fight for it. There was only death to look forward to, the sweet forgiveness of death that would rid of this hollow feeling in his chest.  
He vaguely turned his attention to Thor, who was becoming more and more paniked at his brother's silence.  
Loki let more words appear in the air.  
' I had always thought that I would be the one to kill you, Thor. But ofcourse I had been wrong. You will be the one to kill me.'

Thor's face crumpled as he read the blocky writing and suddenly tears were pouring down his face.  
"I would never kill you Loki. I love you and would sooner have you kill me than have to hurt you again. Please, please lets go home."  
But Loki wasn't listening anymore. He was concentrating on what remained of his magic, letting it fizzle underneath his skin and build in strength.  
He didn't need Thor to want to kill him anyway. All he needed was the wrath of mjolnir, and he was going to get it. It didn't matter that Thor would be hurt; it would be tempory as the spell would wipe him from his memory. It was a win - win situation for both sides, Loki thought.  
Sparing one last look into his brotheres eyes Loki smiled softly.

Thor calmed instantly, his body going slack with relief.

But as he opened his mouth to speaked he found no words would come out.

Loki surged his magic towards his Brother's limbs, curling it around his heart and clenching his hands into fists. As he concetrated on moving the magic to take Thor's arms with it and reach for the hammer, Thor seemed to realise what was happening and let out a roar of anger, breaking through the seal on his mouth in his fury.  
"Loki, no! I will NOT kill you. Do you forget the spell? I will forget you, please stop this madness i can't live without you Loki!"  
Tears were rolling thick and heavy down the golden man's face, but Loki continued to move his arms even as he protested.  
When Thor's hand finally clasped onto the handle of his beloved hammer, Loki found his magic could not pick it up.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! He was never worthy. A Frost Giant?!

Letting out a silent growl, Loki moved Thor's arms back instead. Damn the hammer, Loki clenched Thor's hands into fists and lifted them above his head.  
Thor was screaming now, begging Loki to stop. But he could not, he wanted this too much. He needed it.

The first hit from Thor's fist had him sprawling across the floor, his nose breaking with a satsisfying crunch and blood pouring into his mouth.  
He didn't leave time for the pain to make its appearance, or for Thor to break his bonds, and was crushed under Thor's other fist - this time to his ribs where one snapped easily.  
Soon Loki was losing conciousness, his body burning with pain in one white hot ball of fire, as strike after strike of the muscled arms pounded into his body, and he struggled to keep hold of the spell.  
Another final blow from Thor's fist had him gasping in pain and he felt the spell release with a sickening pop, sending both Thor and Loki reeling.

There was an unsettiling silence as Thor tried to pick himself up, now in control of his body again.

"Loki"  
Thor's breathy voice broke the silence and the peace, and Loki let out the pained breath he had been holding in. His breaths came in shallow and quick, his lungs screaming for oxygen as liquid filled them.

Thor stepped over to him, his frost-bitten hands flailing desperatly as a tear sodden cheek pressed against Loki's own.

"Heal yourself. Do it. I cant lose you now Brother, I love you please, heal yourself, please!"

It takes Loki all of the effort he has to shake his head 'no'.

As he feelt himself slip into nothingness, Loki let out a sigh. His chest did not feel hollow. It felt full and painful, his heart clenching uncontrollably and his lungs struggling against the blood and stomach acids that had filled them.

Maybe this is what living felt like, he pondered - To have some one that loves you hold you as your chest tightens and you slip into the dark.


End file.
